That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
