are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
