call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
