You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
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