This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
