I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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