Im at strip club and am horny
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I could fuck to npr.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
