So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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