everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
