I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
