my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
