Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
