its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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