so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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