Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
