Sponge bath it is.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
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