new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
