WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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