I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
