You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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