My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
