You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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