I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Church boner. Awkwardddd
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
