she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
