We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
