dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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