so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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