Where did you get a picture of my penis
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
