saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
