U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
