i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
