someone owes me an orgasm
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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