I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
