But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
