the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
