her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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