ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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