did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
