I want you more than these girls want KFC
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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