can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
