My room smells like vodka and shame
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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