I hate all girls vehemently.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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