dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
you never un-have a 4some
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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