Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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