does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
