he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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