nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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