I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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