I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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