I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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