I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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