It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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