Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
