Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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