So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
