My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
